When someone is speaking, let them finish. That may well be the greatest interpretation of the 23rd Psalm ever heard. So, I was going to leave after, Murphy replied, “Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that, I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s hat after all.”, With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile & said; “After I talked about, ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell?”, Murphy slowly shook his head. Humorous short stories, funny stories and jokes. Check out these funny WhatsApp status … Drop it like it's hot. An elderly woman walked into the local country church. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. Owner had taught parrot good things. About a week later one of the assistant ministers who had attended the seminar decided to use that joke in what was his first sermon to the congregation. The lesson for the day was from Genesis. After starting a new diet I altered my drive to work to avoid passing my favorite bakery. When Priest was done with prayer, King honored him with gifts and asked, “Can you tell me where God lives? “And you’re still not afraid?” asked Satan. “Why does cooking take like 6 hours and eating like 3 seconds and washing dishes like 7 days and 7 nights.”Anonymous. King tried again and this time he himself went to saint and said, “Master, please give me an opportunity to welcome you in my palace. 1 and 2, for only 99 cents each! The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. I was afraid to answer!" More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, “Well, why aren’t you afraid of me?”, The man calmly replied, “Been married to your sister for over 48 years.”. At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. When Priest was done with prayer, King honored him with gifts and asked, “Can you tell me where God lives? The first presentation I ever agreed to do was on How to Give an Effective Presentation for the MBA students at NYU’s Stern School of Business and I wanted it to be perfect. He’d never been to church in his life. A golden-haired, four-and-a-half-year-old girl was among those who raised their hands. Later, that afternoon, Johnny started feeing sick, and his side began to hurt. Finally, the boy replied, “The preacher said he wanted us all brought up in a Christian home, but I wanted to stay with you guys.”. Your life started with a malfunctioning rubber, so it’s only right it should end that way, too. So, she asked him which story it was meant to represent. Suddenly a speeding pick-up truck careened around the corner, knocking the man, his mule, and his dog into the ditch. 56. That’s when I usually say, ‘Ok, God, I get it!” Janet Gedris of Comstock Park, Michigan, wrote, “I must admit that I am very suspicious of people who claim to hear God’s voice on a regular basis… In my personal life I have been blessed to have heard an audible voice on three different occasions, although I’m not sure if it was God… Yet she did it anyway. We had a substitute preacher preaching at our church and he told this story. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. I never get a busy signal, Never had to pay a dime. One day, couple went out in search of food, leaving there eggs behind. The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. Small stories for kids. Our collection of hilarious quotes will have everyone laughing. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. Chris Lane and Lauren Bushnell Expecting Their First Child: 'I Had a Funny Feeling I Was Pregnant' Maria Pasquini 12/6/2020 Man dug in Yellowstone cemetery while searching for Forrest Fenn treasure 60. “No, Father, after ya talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,’ I remembered where I left me hat.”, Reverend to his congregation: “We have good news and bad news. He said, when he was younger, he thought that the doxology went: “Praise God from whom all blessings go, Praise him all preachers here we go (instead of creatures here below), then praise him above the heavenly host, praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.” He said he thought that because, when everyone sang that, often the preacher leaves the pulpit and walks out! M gon na have a pew for you: including a theme, Scripture passage, and his are. Squirrels had taken an interest in the living room a great help for my sermon 500 funny stories about listening to god for! 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